A shadow dance, an ongoing sway. Fear and desire, night and day.
A pull and push, an endless strife, A fantastic rhythm, a troubled life
To grasp the world, the greed inside. To lose it all, and a fearful heart abides.
A duality, a twist of fate, A captive soul, an imprisoned gate.
our desire for more, a boundless quest, Yet we fear to lose, a haunting test.
A difficult balance, a magical hope, An insecure journey, a fearful scope.
We chase our dreams, with fleeting sights, Ignoring moments of joy, with shunning lights
We all seek the light, the guiding star,.We all follow a path, near or far.
Let’s break the chains, defy the fear, Embrace the moment, and hold it dear.
For in the balance, a hope resides, A chance to conquer our inner-self, a chance to rise.
Have you ever felt a sense of unease, a constant pull, It’s as if there’s a voice within encouraging you to grab all you can while simultaneously telling you to be afraid of losing everything? This waxing and waning, this push and pull, is at the core of our existence.
It is a process that includes innumerable events, occurrences, and feelings in people’s lives. Two of the most unrelenting and insidious emotions are the emotion felt when gaining and the emotion felt when losing. We are everywhere and yet we are nowhere, and in the midst of this, we travel through the medium of fear. These emotions seem to always go hand in hand because they play a huge role in our choices, in the way in which we communicate, and in the general setting of our courses of action. These emotions must be recognized so that they do not disrupt an individual’s life to receive the kind of life every individual desires.
The Dual Nature of Desire
Modern people are obsessed with having, doing, and getting everything they crave and desire. Possessions, money, relationships, and cheerfulness; all are greatly sought after, and, individuals are driven by FOMO (“fear of missing out”). This chase can put one into a permanent state of stress because one is always looking at how not to lose the gains they won.
At the same time, modern people are disturbed by another anxiety—the anxiety of loss. We hold on to people, things, and moments scared that they will slip away from us one day. This fear can debilitate us, can keep us frozen so that we don’t take risks and thus don’t evolve.
Understanding the Anxiety of Gaining
The fear of achieving is the experience of being at risk while pursuing success, accomplishment, and assets. Of course, it is normal to progress and seek change and development, But, never underestimate how It is difficult to risk being unable to accomplish the assignment. And being unable to manage the additional duties that come with it.
Pressure to Succeed: When it comes to achievement, everybody undergoes great pressure and stress, and can have anxiety. Whether it’s about jobs, money, education, or other achievements the stress of possible failure may overshadow the happiness of achievement.
Imposter Syndrome: A possible positive effect is welfare, but it can be accompanied by imposter syndrome in which a person feels that they do not deserve their success, and can be easily exposed as a fake.
Maintaining Balance: There is a fine line that one has to tread when acquiring new responsibilities, relationships or assets. This creates uneasiness of losing control which negates the gains that come with implementation of these changes.
The Fear of Losing
Loss phobia is established as a feeling that pertains to several domains of life. It originates from holding on to individuals, things, positions, and known circumstances.
Attachment: Strong and Close attachments intensify the fear of losing. Since people value what they possess. It can be a person, thing, or position that makes a significant difference for a person if loss means a lot to him or her.
Change and Uncertainty: Lack of willingness to lose has always been associated with fear of change and insecurity. Something familiar and taken for granted often has a comfort level to it and when that is suddenly gone and that feeling of security is no longer with us we become uneasy.
Emotional Impact: This fear only results in anxiety, depression, and extreme unwillingness to take any risks in their lives. It worked against personal development and capacity to accommodate change.
References from the old scriptures of the Indians https://amzn.to/3ZeTkTm
The Vedas, the old scriptures of the Indians, provide very elaborate concepts for handling the stress of acquiring and the stress of losing. There is equal stress on being detached and being spiritually awakened or practising ‘waking up’.
Detachment (Vairagya): It can, however, be noted that the idea of detachment is probably the foremost teaching of the Hindu scriptures. In the Hindu scriptures, a particular text is called the Bhagavad Gita, where Lord Krishna teaches Arjuna that his actions should be done as a duty without concern for his gains. This idea helps people focus on their efforts rather than the results, which makes them feel less scared and anxious.
Bhagavad Gita 2.47:https://amzn.to/3YYWR72
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन |
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि || 47 || https://amzn.to/3ZcafpH
karmaṇy-evādhikāras te mā phaleṣhu kadāchana
mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stvakarmaṇi
You have the right to discharge your prescribed functions but you do not have a right to the consequences of your work. Never identify with the fruits of your actions and never be instilled with inactions.
Bhagavad Gita 6.16 https://amzn.to/3UTmcOr
नात्यश्नतस्तु योगोऽस्ति न चैकान्तमनश्नत: |
न चाति स्वप्नशीलस्य जाग्रतो नैव चार्जुन || 16||
nātyaśhnatastu yogo ’sti na chaikāntam anaśhnataḥ
na chāti-svapna-śhīlasya jāgrato naiva chārjuna
O Arjun, those who eat too much or too little, sleep too much or too little, cannot attain success in Yog.
Bhagavad Gita 6.17 https://amzn.to/40TDteb
युक्ताहारविहारस्य युक्तचेष्टस्य कर्मसु |
युक्तस्वप्नावबोधस्य योगो भवति दु:खहा || 17||
yuktāhāra-vihārasya yukta-cheṣhṭasya karmasu
yukta-svapnāvabodhasya yogo bhavati duḥkha-hā
He who is regulated in his habits of eating, sleeping, recreation and work can mitigate all material pains by practising the yoga system.
The Hindu scriptures put emphasis on the self-realization process. Understanding one’s self and recognizing his or her place in the world reduces the concern with losing as well as the apprehension of obtaining. It becomes easy to develop inner peace when one acknowledges that every material thing and accomplishment is temporary.
- Chandogya Upanishad 8.7.1:https://amzn.to/491t4PJ
- य आत्मापहतपाप्मा विजरो विमृत्युर्विशोको विजिघत्सोऽपिपासः सत्यकामः सत्यसंकल्पः सोऽन्वेष्टव्यः स विजिज्ञासितव्यः स सर्वांश्च लोकानाप्नोति सर्वांश्च कामान्यस्तमात्मानमनुविद्य विजानातीति ह प्रजापतिरुवाच ॥ ८.७.१ ॥
- ya ātmāpahatapāpmā vijaro vimṛtyurviśoko vijighatso’pipāsaḥ satyakāmaḥ satyasaṃkalpaḥ so’nveṣṭavyaḥ sa vijijñāsitavyaḥ sa sarvāṃśca lokānāpnoti sarvāṃśca kāmānyastamātmānamanuvidya vijānātīti ha prajāpatiruvāca || 8.7.1 || https://amzn.to/3V122SL
- ‘The Self is free from sin, free from old age, free from death, free from sorrow, and free from hunger and thirst. It is the cause of the desire for Truth and for commitment to Truth. This Self has to be sought for and thoroughly known. The person who has sought and known the Self attains all worlds and all desires.
“When the self is realized, then one sees oneself in all beings and all beings in oneself, one does not hate anyone or anything.”
‘Thus with the self-being realized one realizes all beings and they all are realized in one and consequently there is no hatred for anyone or anything.’
Spiritual Growth (Sadhana): The Vedas also stress moral or spiritual activities connecting to an individual’s progress and prosperity. Chanting, praying, doing some physical exercises like yama etc assist the receiver to help himself or herself not to be affected by occurrences in his or her surrounding environment.
Rigveda 10.121.10: https://amzn.to/3Cx3vdp
प्रजा॑पते॒ न त्वदे॒तान्य॒न्यो विश्वा॑ जा॒तानि॒ परि॒ ता ब॑भूव । यत्का॑मास्ते जुहु॒मस्तन्नो॑ अस्तु व॒यं स्या॑म॒ पत॑यो रयी॒णाम् ॥
प्रजापते न त्वदेतान्यन्यो विश्वा जातानि परि ता बभूव । यत्कामास्ते जुहुमस्तन्नो अस्तु वयं स्याम पतयो रयीणाम् ॥
“No other than you, Prajapati, has given existence to all these beings; may that object of our desires for which we sacrifice to you be ours, may we be the possessors of riches.”
This verse of Hymn crystalizes the goal of human life.
Finding Harmony in the Chaos
As with the anxiety of gaining and the fear of losing, those two factors are with us throughout life; however, we can find ways of learning how to harmonize the emotions thus achieving a happy balanced life.
Self-Awareness: These feelings must be recognised and acknowledged. The causes if well understood can help one work at constructively resolving them.
Mindfulness and Relaxation: Most of the pressure comes from things we think about the future and worry; stress is reduced if you start paying attention to the present and think about what you are privileged to have. Some of the activities that will assist in the management of anxiety include; mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation exercises.
Embrace Change: Learn to embrace change since it always sets in as people should embrace the fact that nothing is permanent. Stop trying to manage every part of your life in detail. Acceptance of losing will reduce the feeling of fear and change will lead to established new opportunities.
Daily Build Resilience: Develop resiliency through emphasis on building on successes and concentrating on yesterday’s and today’s mistakes while looking forward. Build resilience to be able to work through problems on a daily basis, and to overcome failures. I personally learned that resilience plays a crucial role when dealing with challenges and ordinary tasks within a lifetime.
Seek Support: Be with or work with people who care and who can motivate you to go on whenever you wish to throw in the towel. Ordinary conversations or sharing our experiences with peers, relatives or a therapist can be quite informative.
Set Realistic Expectations: Do not make unattainable targets since such situations create frustration and are counterproductive.
FAQs
This article brings answers to the question: A Must-Read Guide
Q: How can I deal with the fear of failure?
A: Make your goals realistic and achievable; Decompose your goals into subgoals.
Pay strict attention to mastery rather than to performance.
You should always have a cause to celebrate no matter if the achievements are small ones.
Q: How can I let go of the past?
A: Say thank you to your past and all that you learned with it.
Learn to forgive especially to ourselves and others.
To understand the basic idea, stay focused on now and the future you strive to shape.
Q: How do I let go of my stress?
A: Learn to approach the unpredictable elements of life as they are, the norm.
No one wants to face the unexpected, but don’t lose trust in yourself to get through it.
Meditation is quite effective in enabling one to reduce anxiety in the mind.
Q: What is this fear of becoming successful, that I have within me?
A: Despite the fact most people desire success, there are so many failures that result from the pressure of gaining success, fear of failure or bearing the obligations of the success the person intended to achieve.
Q: What is the best way of coping with the fact that a death is inevitable and one may be okay with dying but not of losing his children/family?
A: Therefore to reduce the level of this fear we should learn to work on relationships and treasure the time that is given to us.
Q: Can mindfulness reduce symptoms of anxiety and fear?
A: Indeed, mindfulness practices have been shown to decrease anxiety and fear because they aid in inducing relaxation of the body and the mind, self-awareness, and improved regulation of emotions.
Q: Is it normal to have both the anxiety of gaining and the fear of losing at the same time?
A: It is quite all right that at one time you may have both feelings because love and hate are partners and depend on each other.
Call to Action
If you are facing the anxiety of getting or fear of losing remember this, you are not alone.
Life is an incredible journey which is never quite a smooth sail. It is only through appreciating how the process of gaining and losing works that we can appreciate the twists and turns of this process much more conscientiously and compassionately. It is great to encourage yourself to accept adversity and welcome failures while promoting success. Remember that the main point isn’t the arrival but the journey that you make to reach the point of destination.
Feel free to post your stories and advice in the comments and be a part of our community of people with the spirit to persevere through life.